Cock Of The Week - Dog Owners Not all dog owners obviously, because there are many, many good pet owners who look after their animals and the mess their animals leave behind, but, there is a certain species of dog owner whose actions are so stupid as to make me want to harm them with a blunt and heavy object. Many dog owners conscientiously clear up their dog mess, they scoop it up into little bags and then either take it home or drop it in the bin, thanks for that folks, you're doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do and we appreciate your efforts in keeping our streets and parks clear of excrement. Then, along comes dog owner type two, who also conscientiously scoops up their pet's mess into a little bag, but then hurls the little bag into a ditch / tree / hedge to leave collections of deeply unpleasant parcels festooning the greenery like some perverted festive decoration. You are morons, you are horrible people, you are Yorkshire Soul's "Cock Of The Week!" Be warned, if are seen commiting this foul act, a large, angry, beardy bloke will force you to eat up your dog mess with a teaspoon.

Wildhearts News It looks like the two promised Wildhearts albums this year might well both be covers albums, the title for the first album is "Stop Us If You've Heard This One Before Vol 1" and the tracklisting is as follows.... Unsung (Helmet) The World Comes Tumblin' (The Distillers) Understanding Jane (The Icicle Works) Waiting Room (Fugazi) Geez Louise (The Unband) Ice Hockey Hair (Super Furry Animals) Rocket 69 (The Lee Harvey Oswald Band) Possum Kingdom (Toadies) Rearrange You (Baby Chaos) Pep Talk (The Descendents) Battleship Chains (Georgia Satellites) Carmelita (Warren Zevon) The album gets a digital release on the 19th of May, and will be released on Cd sometime during the summer. There are a number of tracks up on the Wildhearts MySpace page. Wildhearts livethis year ? Confirmed so far are Bulldog Bash (headlining), Download and Hard Rock Hell (headlining) which takes place over the first weekend in December, anyone fancy a metal weekend at Pontins ?

Album Review : The Works - The Wildhearts**** This is a Warner Music 3cd compilation featuring the first half of The Wildhearts career, it includes about half of the albums "Earth Vs. The Wildhearts" and "P.H.U.Q", and some more stuff from the previous compiliation/b-side albums "Fishing For Luckies" and "Don't Be Happy....Just Worry." So why would you buy it ? Well, for a triple cd it's a pretty fair price, Amazon was selling for £13, you get 45 tracks to listen so if you think you might like The Wildhearts because you've heard the odd song or two, this would be a fair introduction to the band. I've got it because I very rarely buy singles, roughly a third of the 45 tracks are songs that have rarely been released elsewhere so for a Wildhearts completist it's a good buy. If you already own some of the more obscure Wildhearts back catalogue releases, you might well want to compare tracklistings before shelling out on this one. It is a real shame though that the sleeve insert contains no information whatsoever on the band, as Dante Bonutto is credited on the sleeve surely a writer with his depth of knowledge of the British metal scene could have put together a short bio of the band ? Or maybe it's just to save money. Oddly, nearly all the writing credits as listed on the sleeve liner are made out to Walls ? Who is he then ? I thought ginger was the main writer, assisted by CJ and the others. Perhaps this is due to legal problems, do The Wildhearts no longer own their own songs ? It wouldn't really surprise me.

Hope Your Weekend Rocks I was more than a bit grumpy after finishing work on Sunday night, but when I logged on to MySpazz and got this message from Jan it cheered me up just a bit. Here's to sexy goth girls, cartoon or not.

For One Night Only - We're A Proper Restaurant On Saturday the Captain held a social mixed golf day followed by a meal, and I was allowed to choose a menu for the night, so...... Sweetcorn soup with roasted cherry tomatoes and chilli oil. Grilled goat's cheese on a garlic croute with balsamic dressed leaf salad and grilled peppers. Duck confit on mustard mash with smoked bacon and leek sauce. Chicken pot roasted with lemon, thyme, basil, white wine and olive oil. Lightly spiced grilled salmon on a tomato and herb sauce. Warm chocolate brownie with steeped fruits, vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce. Fruit baskets with chantilly cream. Ably served by Rob... ...and Georgie.

Bouquets And Brickbats I often write about the staff here on the blog, and everyone that turned in this weekend did a stirling job, but my most important staff member hardly gets a mention on here so it's time to redress the balance. My wife Meg keeps the business going, in addition to running the bar and organising the bar staff she does nearly all the table setting, which is a lot of work every day, she waits on when we're having a rush in the kitchen, she clears tables and often pops in to the kitchen to lend a hand when we're getting a bit behind. As well as all this Meg now does all the bookwork which used to take me hours, and I must say she's far better at it than I am and far more organised. I really couldn't keep the place going without her, she's wonderful. So, Bank Holiday weekend, we've got 70 booked for a golden wedding anniversary, and two of the staff call / text to say they are not coming in. Now this year I have taken on more waiting staff than we have ever had, last summer turned into an endless pain for me, not enough staff and far too many hours worked, this year I'm not putting up with it, it's no more Mr. Nice Guy I'm afraid, you blow me out on a hugely important day like yesterday and we are parting company right away. Because I had to get staff in to cover yesterday at short notice (big thanks to Georgie !) I ended up without anyone to clear up or serve the junior team in the evening, thus although the function service finished at 4pm or so, I didn't finish clearing tables and washing up until past 9.30pm, I was not a happy chef. I have a waiting list of kids wanting jobs this year, I'll be making a couple of phone calls later on to replace the girls who are leaving. The rest of the weekend staff worked really well, head girl / chefling April did well as always, Georgie is becoming a real star, Rob, James, Paula and Lucy all did well and chef Phil had put in a tremendous amount of prep work on Friday making tarts and veg and potatoes and sauces and he's working today so that I can go for a day off with my friends and family, cheers Phil.

Ilkley Ward Result Bruce, Vaughan - Liberal Democrat 553 Dundas, Andrew Peter Alan - Labour 719 Hawkesworth, Anne Gillian Conservative - 3,245 Websdale, Bryan Green Party - 526 Total electorate entitled to vote 11,158 Total number of ballot papers received(including rejected papers) 5062 Percentage poll 45 Number of rejected ballot papers 19 Bradford Council site with full results Less than half the electorate bothered to turn out, if you can't be bothered to vote, please do not inflict your opions about politics / government / immigration / global warming / pretty much everything really, on anyone else. You have your chance to change things at the ballot box so don't moan down the pub if you didn't get off your arse on Thursday. I voted for the Green Party candidate, who finished last but within touching distance of the Lib Dems and not far short of the Nu-Labour candidate. I think I would prefer a proportional representation system for voting, although this would probably allow the BNP to get more seats than the two it currently holds, it would also allow more Greens and Lib Dems onto Bradford Council. Bradford Council Seats 36 seats Labour 35 seats Conservative 14 seats Liberal Democrat 3 seats Green Party 2 seats British National Party

Serious, Thoughtful, Dedicated Politician Wins In London Ha ha ha ha, oh deary me, Red Ken must have been really bad if you were willing to elect this clown. We eagerly await Boris' next episode of foot-in-mouth, he is the archetypal political accident waiting to happen.

3 Million Hits Early last week the Yorkshire Soul Blog recorded its 3 millionth hit, if it was you then I'm sorry there wasn't a prize or anything, I'm just not that organised.

The Transformative Effects of Marriage on the Y-chromosome Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress,are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet again..... The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4" stilettos and mask. He said, 'You are the woman of my life, I love you...then we made love all night long. The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met in his office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night. The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said, 'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?' (thanks to Jan)

The blogger as a young boozer, this must have been taken at some kind of Spanish banquet when we were on a family holiday. I got a taste for paella as a kid and I'd pester Mum and Dad to go for paella until they eventually gave in. My little sister seemed to exist on white bread, chips and ice cream when we were abroad, yet she's anything but a fussy eater now.

My little sister Elizabeth (aka Squirt) and myself, isn't she pretty, and her daughter Ellie is the spitting image of Liz at this age. I don't have a date for this one, it's the early 70's though.

"Michael - 5 1/2 Weeks"

This is Dad and me in the garden at Holme Grove where my parents had a home before they moved to the Red Lion in 1969. My Mum used to write notes on the back of all the family photo's, this reads - "Easter Sunday 1968, Michael has just woken up."

Vote Green "My family and I simply love living in Ilkley as I am sure you do too, however there are important issues facing us all. Issues such as school places, affordable housing, questionable redevelopement of fine buildings and gardens, the management of the moor, , over use of the car and under use of public transport, strains on local shops and business...the list continues. I feel that it is time to view these matters through a fresh, contemporary, ecological and sustainable lens. We know now more than ever how much our actions and behaviours affect not only our environment but also our lives and the lives of future genrations here in Ilkley and around the world. There are many ways in which we can individually or as a family change our impact but I hope that with a vote for the Green Party we can help to re-examine existing local policies and structures. I am passionate about our town and its influences elsewhere and I am very willing to listen, learn and work for you so that Ilkley remains a wonderful place to live and visit" - Bryan Websdale, Green Party Candidate, Ilkley Ward.

"Biodiesel is a complete scam - the growing demand is causing forests to be burnt to make way for palm oil and similar crops. The land will need to grow biodiesel crops fo 70-300 years to compensate for the CO2 emitted in forest destruction" - Roland Clift, Professor of Environmental Technology, UK Government Advisor.

A Tale Of Two Hobbits (Yorkshiresoul in "not whinging" shock) Mexican film director Guillermo del Toro seems to be the man that is going to make not just one, but two films of Tolkein's The Hobbit. Del Toro directed the excellent El Laberinto Del Fauno, a dark and sinister fantasy tale set during the Spanish Civil War, and I think his style may suit The Hobbit very well, the book when translated to film could use some darker tones to make it a bit more adult orientated. Ian McKellan has said on his own blog that he is going to play Gandalf again, I think all LOTR fans will hope that Andy Serkis will play Gollum. What about the Dwarves though ? Do we have an abundance of short actors ? The two films have provisional release dates of 2010 and 2011, patience patience.

French President or Black Sabbath Singer ? Oh dear, it's the old milk crate behind the mic stand gag for French midget Nicolas Sarkozy as he gets the Ronnie James Dio treatment.

Album Review : Market Harbour - Ginger**** For Fans Of - The Wildhearts, John Lennon, So what do you do when the doctor tells you that you've got to clean up your act or die ? In Ginger's case it appears that new found sobriety has turned the Wildhearts frontman into the most productive bloke in rock. He now has his own record label, the past year has seen new albums from Ginger and The Wildhearts, tours, a dvd recording, numerous contributions to various side projects and other Wildhearts associated projects (God Damn Whores etc) and this year we are being promised two Wildhearts albums as well as this solo project. Just imagine if Ginger and the boys hadn't smoked / drunk / sniffed / injected their earlier career into oblivion ? What a legacy this man would be leaving. Enough dwelling on the past though because this is the best, most accomplished solo album that Ginger has released so far. I suppose Ginger has always been a prolific writer, the amount of "b-sides" and various studio tracks which were uncovered to provide material for contract fulfilling album releases testifies to that, and on Market Harbour ginger gives us 21 tracks, they're not all full length songs mind, so I'd not quite call this a double album. Ginger's solo style has mellowed a little since last year's Yoni, Market Harbour doesn't contain much in the way of mosh inducing, foot stomping anthems a la The Wildhearts (although Josser Bank and Attentionette are good and lively), but is does hold a lot of very good music. MH shows Ginger in a more thoughtful, more introspective, more adult mode than he has shown in the past. Songs like Casino Bay, House Of Moths and How Hard Can You Make It are Ginger at his most reflective, his lyrics dwelling on lost loves and possibilities. There is some fabulous songwriting here, almost Lennon-esque in places. Ginger has a muscial sense of humour and displays his broad muscial tastes when blending In My Room (The Beach Boys) to the end of I Knew You (An Amnesis) whch follows from the riotous Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy mash up on Yoni, which is then followed by the quirky and charming You And Me (That's What I Want) with its child sung chorus. Couple Trouble is to and bit minutes of Ginger singing, or is that John Lennon again, with a doo wop chorus, A Malibu Chronicle is just a wonderful AOR rock song, fantastic. I think that Market Harbour stands well above all of Ginger's previous solo releases, this third album (or 4th if you count the singles collection A Break In The Weather) is a fine album, it is beatifully written, played and sung. I will admit that it took me quite a few listens to really appreciate Market Harbour, but it is an album well worth persevering with, it is an album with rewarding depth, maturity and richness.

Teenage Rock Star My Dad has been going through all his old photos and he's given me a box of memories, I've been sat going through them this afternoon, laughing at many, one or two bringing a tear to the eye. I'll put a few of the more comic ones up on the blog, but here's a teaser, Yorkshire Soul the teenage rock star. Note the Nike t-shirt, I wouldn't be seen dead in that now, the bandana's quite fetching though.

Cycling In The Dark = Suicide Last week as I was taking some of the staff home we saw a rather astonishing, or a rather incredibly stupid sight on Denton Road. At past ten o'clock in the evening a group of cyclists were meandering along the road. A car driver in front of me had pulled over and was having a word with them, there was a frank exchange of views and I agreed totally with the car driver. The reason for the argument wasn't the usual corner cutting or ignoring of red lights that many cyclists around Ilkley do, but these guys were two abreast, in the dark, with no lights at all. I'd seen the brake lights of the car that had stopped them before I realised that there was a group of cyclists behind him. They were not kids either, these were all adult men and really should have known better. I really don't understand some people, living on Nesfield Road I often see cars careering along at speeds which are far in excess of what is safe on a very narrow road. Looking at how some folk drive, why on earth would you think that cycling with no lights in the dark is a good or safe (or legal ?) idea ? While I am having a moan, the red light issue, why do cylists think that traffic lights don't apply to them ? And those white lines on the road at junctions ? You're not supposed to cross them when turning in to a road, so the cyclist that gave me the finger two weeks ago because he had to make a sharp adjustment in his course as I approached the junction should note that..... a) I was indicating and you were not. b) I remained inside the lines whilst approaching the junction whereas you came over the central white line onto my side of the road so you didn't have to slow down. c) If we do collide, it's not me who is going to be picking my teeth out of my radiator grill.

Damn That CCTV Yorksire Soul caught on camera on a night out.

Learn To Cook With Gordon Fucking Ramsey (thanks to Wosser)